Do We Ever Outgrow Our Teens?

As most of you know, I’m a figure skating coach. I teach skaters of all ages.  Today I had a lesson with a teenager…a 16 year old.  She’s gorgeous. She looks like a cross between Taylor Swift and Faith Hill. 5’9″. Thin. If she were older and not a student, I’d hate her on principle.

Well today, shortly after the lesson began, she fell on a relatively simply skill.  As she skated over to me, I could see her eyes were starting to tear. “Oh no” I thought. I knew something was wrong and this lesson was about to turn in a “mental health” lesson (where I’m more therapist than skating coach).

At first, she tried to pretend it was the stress of her school work. But one look at my doubting face and she started spilling the real beans – boy trouble. Uggggggg!!!!

Through her tears, she admitted to hooking up with a friend from her church group. On Tuesday. And he’d yet to talk to or text her since.  My immediate concern was that he had forced her into something she didn’t want to do. She assured me that wasn’t the case. Since she’d just dumped her boyfriend a few weeks ago, she knew she didn’t want a new relationship, so she thought she could handle a FWB situation with this guy. Well, the tears proved she was wrong.

But after she started talking about how she felt and what he had said to her, I started to realize I’m in the same boat.  I even told her that.  Could it be that teenage boys tell the same lies to some action as men in their 30’s?  Part of the reason she was crying was that she was mad at herself for falling for his lines; she knew better. Well glory be! I’ve had that same thought recently.

I just got a text from her thanking me for my advice. Go me. But please, please, please tell me dating in my 30’s is going to be better than in was in my teens.  If not, I just may remain single!

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3 Comments

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  1. Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud October 14, 2010 — 10:22 PM

    It doesn’t get any better! Good luck, girl.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

  2. singlemamatalesitall October 14, 2010 — 10:55 PM

    Hard to trust the men species young or old. Smh.

  3. First, thank you for being there for your student. It sounds like she really trusts you.

    Second, it gets SO much better in your 30s!!! The difference? You are conscious of how boys (men) act — and therefore you can choose to walk away. When you’re a teen, you often don’t the have the emotional intelligence to see unhealthy behavior, or the confidence to walk away.

    You’re a woman now. You’ve got experience and wisdom. My advice? Spend time doing what YOU love to do! What does that look like?

    Also, YOU can be the chooser. Instead of waiting for a man to come to you… Imagine the kind of relationship you’d like to be in, and start with yourself. I hope this helps?

    HUGE hug!

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