I wish I knew how to add music to this entry, because I’d soo cue up the Pointer Sisters here 🙂 Oo0, 000, 00, oo, 000000, I’ve got a new attitude!
So, yesterday I was perusing my twitter feed and my twiend @MelysaS mentioned she had a new post up on her blog. So, like a good little follower, I hopped over to read it. (Take the hint, go read it 🙂 )
Earlier today I came across a truly thought-provoking one : “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” Why not decide to be happy and share it with others!
So, I started thinking about my own world view. I’ve had a complicated relationship with organized religion. I grew up in the Baptist church (Black Baptist, not Southern Baptist – yes, there is a difference). All I took away from those years was the hypocrisy of organized religion. You know, the people who were uber pious on Sundays (hooting and hollering during service, waving their hands saying “Yes Jesus”), while creating new sins the other 6 days of the week. Plus, my mother wasn’t a Bible thumper. I’m fairly certain my disdain for Bible quoters came from her. So when I was 12 or 13, we stopped going to church. I think my mom went for my benefit, and when I stopped asking to go, she was more than happy to oblige.
She did, however, bring up the religion issue again when I was 18 so that I could start making adult decisions. Mom reminded me that my father’s side of the family is Catholic. Even though my father had no part in my upbringing, my mom went out of her way to ensure I had a connection to that side of my family.
Fast forward to today…religion and spirituality are constantly on my mind. Partially because I’m trying to decide how I want to raise Nate. But it’s also on my mind because I live in the South again. I can’t go a day without someone throwing God in my face. (They don’t call it the Bible belt for nothing!) My resulting behavior lately has been to dig my feet in and thumb my nose at Christianity. It’s also been to hold on to the animosity I feel towards God for all the losses I’ve had over the past few years.
So, when you combine the above attitude towards religion with my attitude towards men (specifically Nate’s “father”), I think it’s easy to see why I’ve been angry lately. But I didn’t realize I was angry until I read the tweet and blog mentioned above. I’ve been downright pissed!
As of today, I’m a new woman. In fact, since having this revelation I can already feel a difference. Is my life where it’s “supposed” to be? HECK NO. But it’s just a momentary setback/derailment. I have to remember it does me absolutely no good to hold on to anger and resentment. Someone didn’t do what s/he said s/he’d do…oh well. I can’t change that. What I can do is learn from the experience and change my expectations in the future.
From now on, the glass is half full 🙂
I hope this post made sense. HAPPY FRIDAY!