Some of y’all may remember I took Butterball to the Planned Parenthood rally on Capitol Hill last year. I really want to instill activism in my son.

So now that I actually (finally!) work in politics, he goes to events with me. He rode in his stroller in the Pride Parade. Then he marched the entire way with the Democratic Party in a local Homecoming Parade.

And now he’s featured in a blog. Click here and scroll to the bottom to see his picture

HAVE YOU VOTED YET??????????????

Happy birthday to the light of my life. My raison d’etre. My heart and soul. By boo bear.

This is about Mike. (No that’s not his real name.)

I went out with Mike in January.  We met online on POF. We had an instant connection and quickly moved through the modes of contact. (Email on the site –> private email –> phone/text –> actual date) Our date was great.  But then he vanished, and his explanation for said disappearing act didn’t make any sense. So I moved on.

A month later, he came back to me with a few business opportunities. Being a single mom, I’m always interested in legit work-from-home opportunities. And at first things went great.

And then things didn’t go great. In the end, the business venture never even took flight, and I was out about $1200.

Through that experience, he showed me who he was. I feel for his “Church” talk, thinking he was a good person because so much of what we worked on was for his church.  I now know that was his cover.

Let’s fast-forward to last night. I was on FB chatting with my friend Megan. She’d been trying to find info on a guy she’s going to go out with, but was striking out. Well last night she finally found dirt on him. And the dirt was good. He was exactly who he said he was.

I’m not sure why, but something in my gut told me to Google Mike. I’m fairly certain I Googled him back in January, but this Mommy Brain thing is REAL; my memory is gone.

So I Googled him. And the THIRD result was a SEX OFFENDER page. And his photo. I was shocked!!!!!

At 29, this man was a teacher at a vocational school having sex with a student who was under 17. Disgusting!

And after a few minutes, things that had confused me started to make sense. No wonder he said business things were going to have to go through my name. No wonder he couldn’t rent an apartment for me.

But the scariest thing – when I used a different search engine to look him up, his conviction and mug shot were nowhere in my search results. (But this fact also makes me think I really did Google him earlier.)

You know, I’m not sure when the appropriate time to tell someone “Oh, I’m a convicted sex offender,” but I feel like that time came and went with Mike.

My head is still spinning.

Reblogged from I Have the Floor:

Reblogged from trying to be good:

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I just finished babysitting your baby today.

I have salmon stuck on my neck and in the crease under my left breast.

My eardrum is damaged due to high frequency screaming.

I had to hold her while I was peeing because from her perspective it seemed like Satan himself would rape and kill her slowly if I put her down thus I did not get the chance to wipe myself properly…

Read more… 471 more words

When she passed I was devastated. I crumbled. And I’m not sure I ever re-built myself.

Now that I’m a mother, I’m beginning to understand the sheer magnitude of what she did as a single mother with no co-parent.

So here’s to you mom. I love you. I miss you. Enjoy the show.

Ms. Norma Tanner Smith, 57, passed away peacefully at her home Thursday, March 3, 2005. She was born in Winston-Salem to Milas and Hattie Tanner. She graduated from Atkins High School in 1965 and Morgan State University in 1969 with a degree in economics and a minor in mathematics. After living in Baltimore and Chicago, Norma returned home in 1980 and began her career at Winston-Salem State University, where she worked until her passing. She was extremely active in her community, holding memberships in several civic organizations and leadership positions in many. In 1984, she was named Woman of the Year by the Winston-Salem Chronicle. In 2001, the Winston-Salem Board of Aldermen issued a special resolution in her honor for her work with the East Winston Economic Development Task Force. She is survived by her daughter, Natasha Elaine Smith; her brother, Charles Kent Tanner; and several cousins, both local and out-of-town. A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. today, March 9, at Mt. Zion Baptist Church. The family will receive friends from noon until 1 p.m. at the church. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be made to Hospice & Palliative CareCenter of Forsyth County or the charity of their choice. (Russell)

I was going to write about how it was an ugly example of a NATIONAL MAGAZINE bullying women who choose a different path in motherhood. (I mean really, we get ridiculed by friends, family, the world for doing what’s best for our families. How is that fair and just?)

Then I saw this absolutely ah-mazing post by Beth. Please, click the link. It’s worth it. Trust me.

I’m disgusted that some teen would take to YouTube to call her ugly.

While I know I wouldn’t have done that myself, I can’t honestly tell you what my initial reaction to her would have been as a teen.  The stereotypical bullying just wasn’t done at my high school (an all-girls, college prep boarding school).  It wasn’t tolerated.

But I do know this – my mother would have skinned me alive for being mean to that girl.

So I have to wonder, where are the parents? Why aren’t they parenting their children?

As we approach Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a “MOTHER.” I had an amazing one, and I am doing everything I can to follow in her footsteps.

For me, that means teaching my child to appreciate people for who they are. We are all different, and that should be celebrated. My mother had standards that she held me up to; I’ll do the same with Nate. And what works for us, works for us (be it extended breastfeeding, high academic standards, my compulsion to put him in sweater vests).

I want to teach Nate to always ask himself 1 question – is that person happy? If the answer is yes, then let that person be happy. And stand up for that person if other people mock that person. If the answer is no, then do what you can to help the person.

(That doesn’t mean we can’t have opinions. It just means we don’t express them and/or be hurtful with those opinions. For those of you who don’t know me, I have an opinion on EVERYTHING. For example, when I see a lady wearing white after Labor Day, I cringe on the inside. Then I have an internal conversation with her about the sins of breaking that fashion rule. But would I ever say that to her? Nope. Not my place. If she asked, I’d say something like “I was raised not to do that, but you look great, so go with it.”)

Ok, I’m rambling and my allergy meds just hit. Until next time…

Yesterday I was minding my own business, wasting spending time on Twitter when I got an email notification from the dating site. I had a new message!!!!!

I clicked open a new tab, logged in, and was pleasantly surprised to see a smiling face as well as an email that passed the test in my profile. So I replied.

20 minutes later – BAM – he replied.

We went back and forth like this well past 1am!!!!

It was a wonderful conversation. We shared similar tastes in a variety of things.  He’s a fire fighter and was in the USMC. Divorced with 4 kids (2 sets of twins!!!!!!) – which explains why his profile said he didn’t want kids.

For those of you who know me at all, you know I was starting to thing “ok, this is too perfect. What’s the downside to this guy.” Well…

At about 2am, he sent me more pictures. Up until that point all I’d seen was his profile pic, which was a über close-up of his face. Literally, he cropped it so all that’s visible is the center of his face (eyes, nose, mouth). But they all looked nice, so I didn’t give it another thought.

After receiving his other pics, I probably should have taken the cropped profile pic as a red flag. He’s not bad-looking. But he certainly isn’t great looking.

But, the conversation was going so well, I didn’t really care. (I’m working on being less shallow.)

Well I didn’t care until he asked if I’d changed my mind about him after viewing the pics. That struck me as odd and counted as STRIKE 1.

Then he asked if I’d like to talk to him on the phone. Again, the conversation was going to so well, I agreed.

And oh what a conversation it was…

I remembered to double-check about his end-goal; too often men really want a booty-call situation while pretending they’re seeking a relationship. So I asked. He said he wanted something long-term. When I agreed, he asked if it bothered me that he didn’t want more children. I told him I understood that 2 sets of twins (!!!) was a lot, but that I did picture myself having a child with my future mate/spouse. He then slyly asked if marriage was a requirement. Now, I’ve been in Dating Hell long enough to know that’s a trick question. So I said “well I’ve always thought I’d get married. I used to fantasize about the big wedding. Now it’s more about what would work best for me and partner.”

(Wait for it…)

He said that sounded smart. But he was definitely NEVER getting married again. !!!!!!!!!

He has enough trouble supporting his 4 (!!!!) kids, and adding a new wife/family to the mix wasn’t feasible. I mentioned the wonderful document known as a pre-nup as a protection everyone should have in this day and age, but he seemed quite settled on this decision.

At first, that sounded 10000000% responsible.

Then I realized this man was saying a future with him meant no more babies for me (did I mention he’s getting snipped soon?) and also no wedding (Princess for a Day) for me.

And before you say I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s the sense even starting down the relationship path with this man if 2 of the things I’ve always wanted aren’t on the menu?

And then he said what no woman wants to hear…

“Oh, did I mention I live in my mom’s basement?”

My jaw literally dropped.

I mean again, I get it – it’s cheaper, and supporting 4 (!!!) kids can’t be easy.

At that point it was past 2:30am (Nate gets up around 7:30), and I realized I’d wasted precious sleeping time talking to an unattractive, divorced father of 4 (!!!), who never wants to get remarried, and lives with his mother.

Seriously???

Then I spend the next few minutes (okay hours) trying to convince myself that Nate is okay. 

Physically, this child is so advanced. He runs and jumps like a 3 year old. He’s great with this hands too.

And I know he’s smart. The things he’s figured out are proof that he’s a bright little boy.

But why won’t he talk like other toddlers??????

Then yesterday happened. And BAM – I suddenly understood.

You see, yesterday we were outside playing. Nate was turning every branch he found into a hobby horse. He pointed out all the birds and butterflies. He picked up trash and threw it away. You know, a typical day outside for us. 

Then he ran up to me and said “I got rock.” And without thinking I replied “Yes, you have a rock.”

WAIT A MINUTE. I know for a fact I’ve only told him the word “rock” once, and that was several weeks ago. (Yes, I’m that prissy mom. I’ve gone out of my way to keep him away from rocks and all things dirty.) 

When I try to teach him useful words – colors, letters, numbers, clothing – he looks at me like I have an extra head.

But when I mention a word in passing, he internalizes it. 

I get it – my 2.5 year old has Selective Learning. 

Makes me wonder what other words he’s picked and just hasn’t had the opportunity to use…

Does your toddler have this condition?